Beatriz

Letra#

>be me
>scorching February morning
>Beahtreez Veetairboh just died
>imperious agony, no sentimentality, no fear
>walking through Plahsah Consteetooseeon
>notice they changed the cigarette ad on the iron panels
>this pisses me off
>realize the universe is already moving on from her
>this is just the first change in an infinite series
>oh god

>the universe will change but I won't
>melancholy vanity hits different
>know my devotion used to exasperate her when she was alive
>now that she's dead I can obsess over her memory
>no hope but also no humiliation
>kinda pathetic but it is what it is

>remember April thirtieth is her birthday
>decide to visit her house on Gahrye Street
>greet her father and cousin Carlohs Arhenteenooh Dahnehree
>it's the courteous thing to do
>irreproachable act
>probably inevitable anyway

>emeffdoubleyou I'll wait again in that cluttered little room
>study all the details of her portraits again
>Beahtreez Veetairboh in profile, colors so vivid
>Beahtreez masked at the nineteen twenty one carnival
>her first communion pic, pure and solemn
>Beahtreez on her wedding day to Rohbairtoh Ahlehsahndrah
>Beahtreez after the divorce at some Eepeekooh Club luncheon
>Beahtreez in Keelmess with Dellyah San Markooh Porsell and Carlohs Arhenteenooh
>Beahtreez with that Peekingeez from Veeyehgahs Eyeehdoh
>Beahtreez full face and three quarter profile, smiling
>hand on chin
>that eternal gaze

>at least now I don't have to justify showing up
>used to bring modest book offerings
>finally learned to cut the pages
>months later they'd still be uncut
>she never read them
>emeffdoubleyou